Oblivious

I was a big fan of Tinder back in the day.

I know…

It was a very popular way to meet new people in the early 2010s.

Whatever, guys.

Anyway, back to my story…

I was talking to probably nine different matches at the time, but only one asked me out for drinks, which was nice considering I wanted to actually date people in person rather than through some messaging app. His name was Oliver and he was 5’10”, with blue eyes and a cute smile. He had a good sense of humor too, the trait at the top of my list.

“Want to meet at Blarney Rock at 7pm?” Oliver asked while I was sitting at my desk at the office.

“Perfect! I’ll meet you there,” I said. It was a good plan considering my sister, Sam, was going on a date near Blarney Rock, and this would give me a good “out” if the date went south.

Even though I knew this date had probably a 0.04% chance of working out, I was still nervous. I arrived at the bar twenty minutes early so I could drink a beer to ease my nerves a bit, but as soon as I walked in, there he was, the boy in the picture sitting at the bar with a beer in hand.

I sat down, introduced myself, and ordered myself a beer. We were talking, the conversation was flowing, and he seemed like a nice guy.

“So, where do you live?” I asked. For some reason, this very important question never came up in conversation prior to this date.

“Upstate New York. I took a two-hour train ride to come meet you.”

I started to get the sense that things weren’t going to work out between us. 

After a solid hour and a half – a full ninety minutes (keep this in mind) – I asked him if he wanted to meet up with my sister and her date. 

“Sure,” Oliver said and then looked to the bartender. “Check, please.”

“Oh, don’t worry about it buddy,” the bartender responded.

I just remember thinking to myself, “Well, that was nice of him.“

We walked side-by-side the two blocks to meet up with my sister and her date. As we made our way there, Oliver ended the awkward silence between us. “It’s really nice you wanted to come meet me. Not many people do.”

“Oh okay. Yeah, of course,” I said, though I didn’t really understand the comment.

We arrived at the bar and I stood next to my date, while Sam was next to hers. I looked over at Sam and she had this strange look on her face.

“Hey, Sam, I have to run to the bathroom. Wanna come?” I asked.

“Yes, I absolutely do.”

I opened the door to the bathroom. “Hey, what’s with the face?” I asked.

“He seems really nice…” She stopped.

“And?”

“And?” Sam asked. And then it hit her. “Wait, you’re serious.”

I stood there, confused. “Uhhh.”

Sam started laughing hysterically. “Oh. My. God… you really don’t know.”

“I don’t know what, Sam?”

“Michelle, he only has one arm.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about your date is missing an arm.”

“What do you mean, he’s missing an arm?”

“It’s pretty self-explanatory.”

So that’s why the bartender had been giving us free drinks the entire time. Clearly, I hadn’t noticed during the almost two hours we had spent together prior to this conversation. 

I would like to take a moment to say that in no way am I mocking my date. Rather, I am mocking myself for being so oblivious.

Sam and I walked back to our dates at the bar, and there it was…or rather, wasn’t…clear as day.

We ended up having a wonderful night and played beer pong for another three hours. Unfortunately, we were having such a good time that Oliver missed his train back home.

What could I do? 

I invited him back to my place. 

I was going to ask him to sleep on the couch, but then I realized my roommate might freak out in the morning if she saw someone (with one arm) sleeping in our living room.

Let’s just say, it was an interesting night.