Drinking to Forget
A few days after my humiliating text messaging episode, I figured what better way to forget all the stupid decisions I make…
…than to drink an inordinate amount of alcohol.
So, as soon as I left the office, I went straight to The Factory. There, I threw open the front door and strutted in like I owned the place (I don’t), and there, sitting at the bar, were Bella and Andrew.
“Hey, Michelle!” Bella said, excited to see me.
“Sit down,” Andrew commanded. “You’re gonna play a game with us.”
I did as instructed and hung my purse on the hook below the bar.
The game was called “Stupid Seven” and the rules were simple:
- Take a shot glass and fill it with Jameson.
- Take the shot.
- After one minute, repeat steps one and two.
- After two minutes, repeat.
- Repeat until you hit seven minutes.
Congratulations! You win.
I played the game admirably. Well, at least I think I did, because I blacked out somewhere between minute six and minute seven. After that, it was just a fuzzy blur. The next thing I remembered was waking up in the morning wearing nothing but a t-shirt and shame, and found myself sprawled out on my bed like a flying squirrel.
I got out of bed… still drunk…and tried to piece together the events from the night before. The first thing I did was look for my purse. Unfortunately, frantically searching the apartment for twenty minutes led to nothing but disappointment – it was nowhere to be found. This was my “just in case I want to go out right after work purse”, which held deodorant, lotion, a razor, my makeup bag, a bottle of perfume, toothpaste, a toothbrush, a comb, a curling iron, bottles of shampoo and conditioner, and a bar of soap. The contents were used for when I went to the gym to shower during lunch. And no, I didn’t actually work out – I paid $80 month in case I wanted to drink at happy hour.
The next thing I did was check my pockets. There, I found a crumpled receipt from the diner down the street from the bar. I took one look at it and discovered two important pieces of the puzzle: one, I didn’t get home until at least 1am, and two, I turned into a werewolf because my $35 bill included grilled cheese, disco fries, chicken quesadillas, and an apple juice.
I was getting close to understanding the full extent of my state of being the night before, but there was one final thing I needed to do. It was something that could change the course of my life forever; something that could either make or break my overall happiness as I knew it.
I checked my phone.
The first text was from Bella, “I have your purse which you left on the hook below the bar.” Whew.
The second text, one which I sent, and one which would end up going unanswered forever: “I’m kinda craving you right now.”
And with that, I put my phone down face down on the night table, and went back to sleep.